So here is another updated pic... taken at 27 weeks! I am tired... I get up toooo many times during the night to either pee or cry from a silly leg cramp. Things are going better, now that K is home I don't feel so alone which is nice. 9 more days and we head to edmonton for some good visiting and some shopping for baby funiture which I am really excited about! Anyways I will write more later just wanted to put this on. Oh and went for my Diabetes test today.. praying that all went well!!!!

Here's to the Third Trimester

27 weeks today!!! Man that just seems crazy, and yet I am having a hard time being happy today, or for the whole weekend for that matter. For those of you who know me you know that my grampa passed away last month. I don't know if I am feeling down because of that, (it has almost been one month) or if I am battling depression... again. K was gone this weekend which might have contributed to my feelings a lot, I don't really know. I think I have been leaning a little too heavily on him this past couple of months. I am not sure if I should be doing that and yet I can't seem to stand without him. Funny I always considered myself a very independent person, my family considers me to be a very strong person. I try to live up to this but I am finding it exhausting. I know that my family does not expect this of me, they never would they are amazing. It is me pushing myself past my limits, I am good at that. I don't know when to say enough is enough, I need a break. I am tired of being sore all the time, and I am so scared to be a mom. I am sure that most moms to be feel this way I even have a friend back home in Van who went through the same loss as me while she was pregnant with her first. It is just today and this last weekend I couldn't handle it. Deep down I know that I am going to love this baby, and that I will get through this. That this baby will have the best father in the world, he is amazing. That just because I feel this way today doesn't mean I will always feel this way. I just need to deal with it and take a break.
I know that this is normally a happy place for me to post but today I just needed to get a few things out. I hope that my honestly doesn't scare people away. Please keep me in your prayers and K as well. I know I need it.

73 Days till mat leave!!!

Yea so I am excited... excited to start fixing up the nursery, excited to start being a mommy and excited just in life right now. I am also excited that Starbucks made a new frap flavour... mmmm honey Frap... yum! The countdown is on 97 days till my due date, 73 days till my maternity leave and 17 days until we get to go to Edmonton to do some baby shopping! yipeee! Yes my life revolves around how many sleeps until the next big event... what can I say I was born a dork! haha!
Yesterdays doc appointment went really well, heartbeat is still at 148 bpm, the baby is growing nicely and my uterus measured 28 cm I think. I have to start going every two weeks now so that is going to be nice... every two weeks I get to hear my baby's little heartbeat and ask questions about things and figure how I am going to do this whole birthing thing. I am sooo nervous. I spoke with a friend last night who has gone through both a regular birth and an emerg c-section. To look at her and see that she pulled through and she has two wonderful (although quirky) boys makes me feel better about it. I know I can get through anything and that I have been blessed lately with some wonderful friends up here in Grande Prairie. Two girls that I know I can count on and who are sooo extremely opposite that you always get all perspectives when you talk with them. Come to think of it I think that all three of us are totally completely different personalities from each other, we all seem to have different outlooks on life and I think that is what makes it interesting being friends. I honestly don't know what I did in this town for the 2 and a half years that I didn't know these ladies! So thanks!!!!
Swimming.... yup started swimming, one of my aunts told me to do it as did my uncle who is a doctor. I was having problems doing any other sort of exercise and it was awesome last Sat to feel weightless and be able to "work out" for almost an hour! So I think that this will be a weekly if not twice a week thing.
Other than that no big news... got a horrible leg cramp last night when I was sleeping... luckily kyle was home or I would have woken him up with my terrible scream. I swear it went on FOREVER!! ahh well!

New Pictures

I thought I would post a few pics of me at 25 weeks. I haven't taken pics in a couple of weeks and was blown away by how much I have grown. CRAZY! Also discovered last night a totally new craving... on top of the Nibs, Croissant donut things and Carmel Fraps from Starbucks I am craving these Apple Pear Hybrid type fruit.. so yummy and juicy. Have to stock up on more! At least the are better for me than the other three things right?

Back at Home

So been back home since last Thursday, hate being at work. It sucks, and I find myself feeling angry sometimes at my boss. I know that a lot of my friends and family read this blog but I just need to spit this out. My boss is the same age as my grampa when he passed, I sometimes find it hard to look at him and not be angry that he is here and grampa isn't. I don't get it, I understand that this is how life works and that my grampa is in a WAY better place with an awesome workshop for him to work in but it doesn't make it any easier. Man I miss him.
In other news I am feeling HUGE and the baby seems to be resting on the right side of my body. Yesterday evening we were sitting at friends house and all of the sudden it felt like a knife was being SHOVED in between my ribs. I started yelling pretty much until it finally went away. What an awful feeling, I have decided that this baby is a boy since I don't think a girl would do that to me. It seems as though this child is constantly shoving a hand up my ribs but has positioned itself so that it is no longer on my bladder. I honestly think that I will take the bladder kicks over the hand shoving.
14 weeks 6 days to go! Man I am excited to meet this malicious little child haha and see what kind of personality they will develop!

ps... i really want that mint 3 musketeers bar they showed on tv yesterday!

Hard Times

So I know it has been a while but things have been a little rough around the house, now before anyone jumps to conclusions everything with the pregnancy is going just fine. I feel great although not as mobile and the baby is really a mover and a shaker! He/she has taken to dancing on my bladder while shoving a hand up my ribs on the right side. Lovely.... and it feels even better!

As I said in an earlier blog I had a family member who was not doing so well health wise. My grampa had been going through some issues with his heart and therefore had to have open heart surgery, he had a quad bypass 17 years earlier and had been in amazing health since then, always strong and always willing to kick our butts if we sat in his chair! In the last couple of years his energy has declined so far that he would get out of breath just walking across the room. After many tests he was diagnosed with Pericarditus (not sure how to spell it) which is the lining around the heart that contains fluid to help lubricate the pumping of the heart. After his bypass he slowly developed scar tissue on this thin membrane which in turn constricts the pumping of the heart. This is why he was running low on energy. So the doctors decided to do open heart surgery to remove this membrane (an even riskier surgery than the bypass) so that his heart could expand and fully pump again. The surgery itself went very well but his heart did not expand after they removed the membrane. He passed away as my uncle said a couple of heart beats shy of valentines day. We were all at the hospital and were able to comfort each other. I have realized in these last couple of weeks that I truly come from a family of love, my grandparents love was/is true and pure, I can only hope to have a love like theirs! Every family has their struggles but watching mine come together was a gift. I am so thankful that I got to be a part of these last couple weeks both with my grampa and in the grief of losing him. My last memories of him are so sweet and I will cherish them always.

Well thanks for listening. I have posted a pic from our wedding of myself and K with my grandparents.

Feeling Large and in Charge!

Ok so feeling pretty large these past few days... this is going to be a quick post... prison break is on and I want to spend some time with K. Thought I would post a pic and inform everyone that I am now having some problems with coordination... getting in and out of K's truck is pretty comical as is getting off the couch. Went to the dr's today and the heart rate is now at 149 or 147 I can't remember which one but it has gone down.. and some would say that means boy!!! Which makes K's day!
Below I put a pic of me today, please pardon the horrible hair I had just finished blow drying it and it gets a little poofy! Hahaha!

Me at 22 weeks!!!