27 weeks today!!! Man that just seems crazy, and yet I am having a hard time being happy today, or for the whole weekend for that matter. For those of you who know me you know that my grampa passed away last month. I don't know if I am feeling down because of that, (it has almost been one month) or if I am battling depression... again. K was gone this weekend which might have contributed to my feelings a lot, I don't really know. I think I have been leaning a little too heavily on him this past couple of months. I am not sure if I should be doing that and yet I can't seem to stand without him. Funny I always considered myself a very independent person, my family considers me to be a very strong person. I try to live up to this but I am finding it exhausting. I know that my family does not expect this of me, they never would they are amazing. It is me pushing myself past my limits, I am good at that. I don't know when to say enough is enough, I need a break. I am tired of being sore all the time, and I am so scared to be a mom. I am sure that most moms to be feel this way I even have a friend back home in Van who went through the same loss as me while she was pregnant with her first. It is just today and this last weekend I couldn't handle it. Deep down I know that I am going to love this baby, and that I will get through this. That this baby will have the best father in the world, he is amazing. That just because I feel this way today doesn't mean I will always feel this way. I just need to deal with it and take a break.
I know that this is normally a happy place for me to post but today I just needed to get a few things out. I hope that my honestly doesn't scare people away. Please keep me in your prayers and K as well. I know I need it.
1 comment:
Good for people to know.
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