Wednesday, October 31, 2007

3 More Sleeps...

Ok so this ultrasound is all that is occupying my mind. I have been SUPER moody at work to the point where my boss has decided that staying away from the office would be his best defense. I have driven my boss away... I mean come on who does that. But in all honesty his little noises are driving me nuts... he smacks his gum with his mouth open, (he is doing it right now and I just want to smack him), he bites his nails, he clears his throat and makes gross noises doing it, he quietly burps every once in a while and excuses himself in shock, he picks his ears with his letter opener which I will NEVER touch. Now the biting nails I am allowed to yell at him for, but everything else I have to keep my mouth shut. But to cap it all off... my boss is 76 years old. Now I know I say this and you picture this gross guy but he is quite nice and decent... he smells nice (not like old man) and he is a hard worker. He is semi-retired and about to head down south for a couple of weeks and man am I glad to have him gone for a bit.
Now because of all of that I am totally unmotivated to work and just want to throttle my boss, the thing is ... when I wasn't preggers none of this stuff bothered me. Just the nail chewing b/c I can hear him bite his nails off... Ok enough of that I am sure that all of the rest of you are currently gagging as you read this and will never return to my blog but the gum chewing is the worst... I can't even go into more details I am at wits end. Mind you we share a medium sized office so when he is in we are in the same room and I can't really excuse myself.
Onto different things... Halloween... yipeee... midweek and only 3 more sleeps till we go to the ultrasound. I am yurning for the heartbeat.... It seems to consume my thoughts... I guess because it is finally getting close, kinda like D day haha. It is where we learn the fate of me and where we see how my little bean is doing.
I dropped K off at the airport this morning.. sniff.. sniff... I hate it when he is gone although out lab W is a pretty good spooner so I can at least stay warm in bed! lol! And the cats J and T usually sleep on my feet so it should be ok. Plus my amazing neighbor has said that if I am lonely I can visit them... I love that. (yes she reads this and yes I am sucking up to her so she doesn't get sick of me).
So anyways no other real news to report although ... this just in.... I am currently growing a volcano on my forehead. luckily I have long sweeping bangs that are covering it. Oh and I cried during a CIBC commercial the other day. Man I love hormones.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Sleep... where have you gone???

As you have probably now guessed from my title line.. I am not getting ANY sleep. I am up usually only once to pee.. and once because of a nightmare of sorts. I have been having terrible dreams, last night there was something about riding a horse out into this field and there was a kid on the saddle with me, I crossed this small barrier into the field and knew I shouldn't but did it anyways of course. All of the sudden I was terrified, didn't know what to do or how to protect this child (which wasn't mine but a friends). The other night I had a dream where K was having an affair on me with his secretary. I woke up so angry... and yet I knew it was a dream and that he would never to anything like that, it is just my stupid dreams!
After these horrible dreams in which I seem terrified no for reason I usually sit in bed wide awake for quite a while.... K usually senses that I am awake and will hold me until I fall asleep again. I couldn't ask for a better husband.
The painful gas seems to have subsided for a bit at least, here's hoping it stays away for a little while at least. Still can't eat chicken although we are going to try again tonight and see what happens... who knows maybe this time it will be OK. Along with the painful gas subsiding the nausea seems to been letting go a bit which is nice. Still lingering and making me feel pregnant are the sore boobs and zits... man I really hate the zits!
This Saturday.. I think that is all that I can think of right now. I can't wait to see that heartbeat and see the little bean, although I do feel pretty bad that K will not be there. 4 more sleeps until I meet my bean! YIPPEE! I am looking forward to the Dr saying oh look at that.. implantation looks good... the heart is beating normally and you look all set to go! Man that would be amazing... it is what I pray for every day! That and that God would give my little bean in heaven a kiss for me.

Friday, October 26, 2007

The Gas Factor

Alright a bad subject I know but it seems to be what is occupying my life recently. In the past few days in the afternoon my appetite leaves me... gone can't picture myself eating a thing. Therefore I make sure that I have fairly decent lunches, then come dinner time if all I want is chocolate ice-cream or an orange with some grapes it is fine. I don't feel too badly about what I am eating. Ok so back to this while gas thing, after dinner I usually sit around with K and we chat and watch TV you know typical quality time! Well lately it feels like my stomach is blowing up and it gets super hard to touch. And man do I pay for it later on in the night. Two nights ago I woke up and thought I was going to throw up everywhere, it was awful. Now I didn't end up chuffing my cookies but it took a while to get over that feeling.
Well last night was pretty bad too... my neighbor brought over Blizzards... which I love all the time any time... and I ate about 3/4 of it through the evening. BIG mistake my stomach was popping and gurgling all night long, no real nauseous feelings just gassy feelings. But like I have said in other posts, I will take it if it means a healthy and happy baby! I honestly don't think I could handle another miscarriage so this one is going to stick!!! Right God??? Please!!!???
Other than the gas I am feeling ok. My clothes are fitting a little tighter and I am feeling like a big fat blog, need to find some clothes that I can wear to work as my pickins are getting slim. I still can't seem to eat a chicken breast but if it is cut up I seem to be ok. No puking yet either but I get that feeling on a regular basis... although I take comfort in it.
8 more sleeps until my ultrasound!!! YIPEEEE I am making it slowly but surely I just want this weekend to fly by and the week to fly by afterwards and then me and my neighbor can be off to see my bean!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Booked and Ready...

Ok so we have already decided that I am not one for patience.... and now I have to wait a whole 11 more sleeps until I get my ultrasound. Alright so it isn't like the first time when they wanted to wait until 19 weeks or whatever but it still seems soooo far away! Oh and K won't be in town that weekend either so I am going either by myself or with my amazing neighbor... you know who you are!
The appointment itself went fairly well, K was there which was nice... although at first my Dr. didn't want to do the prenatal sheet once I told her my symptoms and she felt my belly she decided to try for a heartbeat... no go there yet... and she started filling out the sheet! So I guess I sold her on the idea that I have the start of a healthy pregnancy going on inside me.
Of course she sent me for bloodwork where they totally drained me and I felt like a raisin and had to pee in a cup... you know I hate peeing in cups! Why can't they make it a funnel instead for us women it would be sooo much easier!
Other than that my day has been uneventful, actually work was and is quite boring and I am counting down the minutes till I can go home and see K. Which will only be for a few minutes then I am off to a Candle party, where I have been banned from buying any candles due to the closetful we already have oops! lol!
I think thats is for now... although more to come of course! Man 11 sleeps.... how will I survive! At least my dr's appt to find out my results is only 4 sleeps after that.

Monday, October 22, 2007

One More Day!!!

Ok so I know I am super excited to see my Dr. I WANT THAT ULTRASOUND!!!!! Does that sound desperate enough? I hope that once I get the sheet that says I am allowed one that I can get in right away. I am excited to see my little guys heartbeat or to hear it one of the two! I didn't get that at all the first time around, I think that once I hear or see that little heart beating that I will feel much better about this whole pregnancy.. it will stop feeling like a hoax.. and start feeling real!
I have been feeling slightly ill all weekend, no vomiting but the constant feeling that I am going to along with a tummy that seems to be filling with gas on a regular basis. TMI I know but I have always been about giving out too much information. My neighbor asked me if I was swallowing air... and then proceeded to demonstrate yesterday over dinner. Quite amusing and even more so when he lifted his leg to toot before we left.... hmmm you know you are comfortable with your friends when!! But I needed a laugh and they are always good for that!
Alrighty ... so at almost 8 weeks my pants don't really fit me... this is a problem. I refuse to go shopping until I know that everything is ok, so for now the bella band is saving my butt. All of my pants are worn button open and fly part way down, and even though I am a size 10 to start with there is a slight roundness right under my "always there belly". I never had that last time.. am I excited about it... heck ya! It means my little bean is growing and that is good! The growing pains from last week are pretty much gone as is that lovely light brown discharge.
So other than my now usual rantings there is not much to report. I just want today to fly by and for it to be Tuesday at 1030 already. I am sure I will have more to say tomorrow.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Waiting Game

So now that I am pregnant I play the waiting game.... waiting for the first appointment, waiting for the bloodwork, waiting for my ultrasound (hopefully I get an early one due to my m/c last time) waiting waiting waiting.... Yes I am hormonal.... but I just want to get the ball rolling and to know that everything is ok.
Speaking of hormones, my face is one big ZIT! It is gross, I swear all the coverup in the world cannot make it go away. And of course they aren't the usual zits... they are the deap rooted hurting kind! yuck I know! So I am emotional, I have a zit face and my boobs hurt. Yipeeee. Although at this point yes I might be whining about it but I will take any side effect that is thrown my way. Anything that says that YES I am pregnant and YES these are the signs and how you know on a daily basis. I am 7 weeks and 2 days right now and all I can think about is that 13 week mark. If I can just make it there everything will be ok.
Ahhh yes the much talked about end of the first trimester, the date that every pregnant woman looks forward to. Once we reach that mark we get to relax maybe just a little... it is like having you eye on the prize one trimester at a time. Ok so that sounded dorky I know but how else can you look at it. That is just the truth, with the ultimate prize being your baby at the end of almost 40 weeks. Well I got just over 32 weeks to go. And I pray that everything goes smoothly this time and I am soooo counting down the days to when we can tell our friends and family!

Friday, October 19, 2007

It was Positive.

Well after a horrible summer that ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks my husband and I have just found out we are pregnant again! About 3 weeks ago I was feeling a little strange and decided to take a test... well low and behold that digital test said PREGNANT!! Ok so maybe without the exclamation marks but I was pretty excited, and yet at the same time incredibly unsure. My husbands first words were not that he was excited or congrats to us.. it was "well that explains your mood swings". Ahhh always the supportive one.
Stuff that has been going on in the last 3 weeks since we found out. Hmm we decided not to tell anyone until we go away on vacation for a wedding in December with our friends. They will be sworn to secrecy as we are not telling family until Christmas time when they come to Alberta to visit. Christmas just seems like a long time to wait, but after the miscarriage in the summer we want to keep this to ourselves until we are past the safety zone.
I have been a little concerned this week as I had some cramping and brown discharge, gross I know. I found that the cramping was worse if I walked the dog in the morning so for now those have stopped he will have to deal with chasing a ball in the park before I go to work. It hasn't been that much discharge and the cramps I can deal with I was told that they could be growing pains.. when your uterus grows which would be about right for timing. I talked to a friend who is due in December and she informed me that this happened to her in the same spot and for a couple weeks, I can deal with that.
I am really looking forward to my first Dr's appt next week, my Dr is amazing and when I went to see her after my m/c she informed me that next time around we would got for an early ultrasound so I am really going to push for that one. Although she did say to wait until I had at least one cycle before I was to try to get pregnant again... oops that one didn't happen.
I figured my body would get pregnant again when it was healed, being a person of Faith I have prayed everyday for a healed and healthy body. For God to comfort my little baby in heaven and to lay a hand on my belly and keep safe my little bean as he grows. I know that this time I will approach my pregnancy different and give it to God and ask for his help on a daily basis. Now all I have to do is pray... follow the dr's orders and wait until June!